This will be my 25th Valentines day. It will probably be mostly disappointing, just like the previous 24, although, to be fair, I don’t really remember the first few… In the face of this impending disappointment however, I have decided to share some advice for both men and women, especially those still striving to make Valentine’s Day all that it can and should be.
Advice for Men:
1. Stop complaining V-day is expensive – Spending money on your lady is *almost* pointless if you complain about it, at least in my humble opinion. If it will really cause you pain to spend whatever you’re thinking about spending, don’t spend it. There’s no need to make the holiday expensive if that’s not within your means. If you do splurge though, act like she’s totally worth it, not like it’s a terrible burden. If she has an ounce of sense, she’ll realize you’re spending time/effort/money on her. Don’t cheapen the gift by pointing out your great sacrifice. If she fails to realize the great sacrifice you’re making, you might need different relationship advice.
2. Don’t call it a “fake” holiday – Even though it is undoubtedly a big, hyped-up, overly-commercialized, “fake” event, chances are, it’s very real to Her. Love, the underlying principle of it all, is not fake. V-day celebrates love, therefore… you should suck it up show her some.
3. Make a grand overture - This will mean different things in different relationships. For some, it means flowers delivered to the doorstep*. For others, it means a case of her favorite microbrew and tickets to a local show. For still others it means cooking a fabulous homemade meal, doing the dishes, and dancing with her in the living room to her favorite music. For yet a different couple, it means a road-trip to a random special spot, with a pre-made mix CD and good snacks for the drive. The point is the same though: put some thought into it. What would show your lady that you care in an extra special way? Do that. Do it well. A “where do you want to go eat tonight” does not cut it.
4. Don’t limit the grand overtures to one day a year – If you have a fabulous lady in your life, you should treat her like she is, often.
Advice for Women:
1. Don’t get your hopes up.
Always yours, the hopeless romantic, Alissa Jean
*Although I indicated in the beginning of this post that all of my Valentine’s Days have been disappointing, there was one that still stands out in my mind. It involved flowers being sent halfway across the country. True, I was dating somebody else a couple weeks later, but still, it was so romantic…