Advice for Males & Females Regarding Valentine’s Day

This will be my 25th Valentines day.  It will probably be mostly disappointing, just like the previous 24, although, to be fair, I don’t really remember the first few…  In the face of this impending disappointment however, I have decided to share some advice for both men and women, especially those still striving to make Valentine’s Day all that it can and should be.

Advice for Men:
1.  Stop complaining V-day is expensive – Spending money on your lady is *almost* pointless if you complain about it, at least in my humble opinion.  If it will really cause you pain to spend whatever you’re thinking about spending, don’t spend it.  There’s no need to make the holiday expensive if that’s not within your means.  If you do splurge though, act like she’s totally worth it, not like it’s a terrible burden.  If she has an ounce of sense, she’ll realize you’re spending time/effort/money on her.  Don’t cheapen the gift by pointing out your great sacrifice.  If she fails to realize the great sacrifice you’re making, you might need different relationship advice.
2.  Don’t call it a “fake” holiday – Even though it is undoubtedly a big, hyped-up, overly-commercialized, “fake” event, chances are, it’s very real to Her.  Love, the underlying principle of it all, is not fake. V-day celebrates love, therefore… you should suck it up show her some.
3.   Make a grand overture – This will mean different things in different relationships.  For some, it means flowers delivered to the doorstep*.  For others, it means a case of her favorite microbrew and tickets to a local show.  For still others it means cooking a fabulous homemade meal, doing the dishes, and dancing with her in the living room to her favorite music.  For yet a different couple, it means a road-trip to a random special spot, with a pre-made mix CD and good snacks for the drive.  The point is the same though: put some thought into it.  What would show your lady that you care in an extra special way?  Do that. Do it well.  A “where do you want to go eat tonight” does not cut it.
4.   Don’t limit the grand overtures to one day a year – If you have a fabulous lady in your life, you should treat her like she is, often.

Advice for Women:
1.  Don’t get your hopes up.




Always yours, the hopeless romantic,  Alissa Jean

*Although I indicated in the beginning of this post that all of my Valentine’s Days have been disappointing, there was one that still stands out in my mind.  It involved flowers being sent halfway across the country.  True, I was dating somebody else a couple weeks later, but still, it was so romantic…

4 thoughts on “Advice for Males & Females Regarding Valentine’s Day

  1. Pingback: Valentine’s Day: To Celebrate or Not To Celebrate? « Good Girls Inc

  2. I usually really enjoy your entries, but I felt like this one was not up to usual standards.

    You give guys a litany of hoops to jump through and arbitrary rules, but the advice for girls is simply to be humble in the amount of adoration they receive? Items 1 and 4 are overall personality and behavior advice completely independent from V-day.

    My vest Valentine’s day was where the lady and myself both agreed that it is a fake holiday and had an unspoken agreement not to see/call/contact each other all day. We ended up meeting at like 12:05 AM with the anticipation built-up from the whole day.Different people like different things, and tailoring your celebration to your significant other is important.

    I have been cheated on on 2 separate Valentine’s days, but the worst one by far was when I was given gifts that were completely inappropriate for my interests/who I am 2 years into a relationship. Advice for girls could include treating your boy like an individual with his own personality and interests and not just a generic human that exists to celebrate occasions with and shower girls with attention and gifts.

  3. They were probably all disappointing because you have unrealistic expectations, can’t keep it to one guy (based on your flowers from one guy and dating another that week after), and you probably didn’t do anything for them either.

    This holiday is all about your own expectations, especially since everyone knows it’s coming and what “comes” with the holiday.

    I don’t blame people for not wanting to go all over the top crazy or spend a TON of money just because the holiday claims that’s what it should be about. Maybe if it was not all a one sided thing towards the guy then it would be more enjoyable for all. Either way, don’t we have wedding anniversaries and such for this anyways? Seems a lot more personal of a celebration of love then.

    In my opinion, You should probably appreciate some of the things people were nice enough to do, rather than complain that people were “disappointing”. I would almost bet that you never did anything for any of those guys in the 25 years for Valentines Day, or even further, anything worth talking about or not “disappointing”. I feel bad for those guys who did something that are getting ragged on for doing so. You may be one of the reason plenty of guys don’t even want to waste their time or money because they get treated with opinions like yours when they do.

    Sounds like you have a grudge and are one of those anti-valentines day voices that most people get sick of hearing during this time of year. Get over yourself and do something nice for someone else. The End (:

    -Random Annoyed Guy, speaking for most males

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s