New Change

[Not Obama/change. As if I would really write about that tired topic…]

I spent four dollars in a parking ramp today. I paid with a five dollar bill. I received a “Presidential $1 Coin” as my change. A coin. A coin that’s a dollar.

I’m not sure how I feel about this.

Curious about the economic reasoning behind this new type of change, I looked up the official website created by The United States Mint. Turns out that this change is not an economic-reason-based movement.

And I quote: “The United States is honoring our Nation’s Presidents by issuing $1 circulating coins featuring their images in the the order that they served.”

This whole thing is about honoring dead people!

Again, Im not sure how I feel about this. One would think, due to my being Catholic and all, that honoring dead people, asking them for favors even, would be totally up my alley. One would be wrong, at least in this case.

Don’t get me wrong, I fully support honoring dead people, just not when it cramps my style. This “Presidential $1 Coin Program” cramps my style.

It probably cramps yours too. Think about it.

Most fashionable wallets are not designed for big, fat coins. They are designed for paper or plastic; maybe even both. True, some wallets have a little coin zipper deal going on. This little coin zipper deal is not adequate for responding to a government program.

I suspect inside deals with makers of coin purses.

Just what I need, something else to jam into my purse. I suppose they could be cute, but jamming things where there is no room is not. Getting an inordinately ginormous purse is not either.

Ginormous purses, although purported to make big butts look smaller, are a complete hassle. [Perhaps I will go on about this fact in a later post…]

Purses are already too heavy. Why add to the our epidemic weight problem by getting bigger purses to make room for replacing featherlight pieces of crumpled paper with hefty coins?
Just the other day, I received a sound scolding from a chiropractor because of the weight of my purse. I can only imagine how much worse the scolding would have been after a few days of getting change handing to me in the form of coin.

Increasing the weight of purses will undoubtedly lead to a higher number of chronic back pain sufferers who will then have seek medical care in the form of doctors, medical marijuana, and government bailout adjustments.

This is hardly what America needs.

From a different perspective, what about all those poor souls that are required to use cash registers at their place of employment? Have you looked at a cash drawer recently? Do you see a special section for dollar coins? No.

Clearly, America’s infrastructure is not properly equipped for the introduction of dollar coins into the general economy.

-Yours Truly, The Ex-Economics Major

One thought on “New Change

  1. As a piece of writing this is pretty good. You progress from receiving one dollar coin on one occasion to needed medical marijuana for back pain. As a practical matter, they’re still making paper dollars. I use my debit card for just about everything anyway.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

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